When Rick Santorum suspended his campaign for the Republican
Presidential nomination on Tuesday, a few political pundits opined that
Santorum never had a serious chance at winning the nomination anyway because he
was too right wing. This is a politician so impressive that the voters of
Pennsylvania rejected him in 2006 and he has been earning $ one million + a
year ever since in that most respectable of professions, political lobbying.
But in the world of the Tea Party Rick Santorum was not too
extreme for today's Republicans. In a party that is at least 50% composed of
Glenn Beck fans, gay-bashers, paranoid conspiracy theorists, Obama birth
certificate fantasisers, antiabortion zealots, take-back-America culture
warriors and get-religion-into-government theocrats, he is mainstream. Santorum
has done Barack Obama a great favour by revealing even more about Romney's
weaknesses. It showed that the conservative reluctance to embrace the former
Massachusetts governor was real, and that many on the right were willing to
back any remotely plausible alternative.
Now Santorum has pulled out of the race we are so lucky that
the Republican Party won’t have an unrealistic religious fundamentalist as its
Presidential candidate. Instead we will have an asset stripping millionaire son
of a millionaire with extensive foreign expertise from his missionary work in
Paris and many trips to the Cayman Islands.
Nor is he a God botherer, once you
believe God gave his words for your edification on “gold coloured” plates written in
ancient Egyptian which were found buried in Wayne County, New York in 1827
which luckily the gifted Joseph Smith was able to translate before giving them
back to his New Best Friend, Moroni. Let’s
not also forget the book tells us JC visited America after his resurrection and
said “howdy” to the red skinned guys who’ll turn white when they accept God’s teaching.
Oh, and until 1978 Black men couldn’t become Mormon “priests” because they were
descended from Cain and because of their unfortunate ancestry Mormon
missionaries avoided black countries and don’t try to convert black people.
All sounds perfectly good and reasonable to me.
Now that dog loving Mitt is the GOP candidate we can
concentrate on the Republican mainstream issues which will make America and its
banker’s great again such as whether Barack Obama’s birth cert is definitely a forgery because
there is no column on it for “owner.”
Roll on November 6th!
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