Monday, 22 July 2013

The Glorious Royal Birth

Billy the Cat receiving the Glorious News

I tried to explain the Glorious Royal Birth to Billy the Cat. I explained the Glorious Baby was a human (not impressed), would not be spayed (ditto), would go to posh schools with Hooray Henrys, would go to Uni to do a pretend degree like Art of History or some such, would be given a job as Rear Admiral or Admiral of the Rear, would get a £10M + Trust Fund so he can mix with a better class of rough boys, would officially marry a posh girl and grow an heir and a spare, would become a Kingy because he has a thingy and when his puppy dies he gets to be Top Cat but before that he gets a tax free, free lunch by robbing a place called Cornwall.

Billy just stared at me as if I was an imbecile, turned his arse and went to sleep.

Cats, they just don’t understand stuff like us humans?

One's Glorious Announcement to the Peasantry 


Wills proposed to Kate at Marylebone Station
- just the ticket!







I know my Blogistas are insatiable for Glorious Royal News so here are some classics worthy of One exalted enough to be a Royal Correspondent.

My chance but utterly wonderful meeting with Wills and Kate at Marylebone Station;

http://daithaic.blogspot.co.uk/2011/02/wills-and-kate-marylebone.html

My part in History; My gracious invitation to the Glorious Royal Wedding;

http://daithaic.blogspot.co.uk/2011/03/one-is-invited.html

That most Glorious of Days: One’s First Wedding

http://daithaic.blogspot.co.uk/2011/04/ones-first-wedding.html
One’s first colony; Mr and Mrs Queen visit the Republic of Éire

http://daithaic.blogspot.co.uk/2011/05/mr-and-mrs-queen-visit-dublin.html


One's Glorious Invitation

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3 comments:

  1. Skibbereen Eagle23 July 2013 at 00:29

    Heavy thunderstorms in London announce Prince Damian of Cambridge's first day on earth

    ReplyDelete
  2. Póló23 July 2013 at 13:20

    You forgot about the mother not being beheaded.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Skibbereen Eagle23 July 2013 at 15:19

    "From his childhood onward this boy will be surrounded by sycophants and flatterers by the score, and will be taught to believe himself as of a superior creation. A line will be drawn between him and the people whom he is to be called upon some day to reign over. In due course, following the precedent which has already been set, he will be sent on a tour round the world, and the end of it all will be that the country will be called upon to pay the bill.” (Keir Hardie, Scottish Socialist leader, on the birth of a royal baby in 1894).

    ReplyDelete